Friday, April 15, 2011

If today was the last day of your life

Not that it is important to anyone else, but I am filled with remorse today.  I've said this blog is not about my personal life, but I'm realizing as I write these posts that you cannot separate your personal life from your writing life, realized it for the umpteenth time.  I got news that a friend of mine lost a friend (I did not know) on a snorkling vacation.  Freak accident.  So, of course, I thought and felt many things, grief for my friend at the top of the list.  This morning I thought about lost time.  It is on the minds of people my age, fellow septuagenarians who live with one eye on the clock and the other on a to do list it would take several lifetimes to complete.  But I am losing my unfettered writing time.  I must devote myself to other, practical concerns.  And now I am looking wistfully at all those hours and days I frittered away thinking they would never end.  How could I, at my age, believe life goes on forever and I can always do it tomorrow, it being my novel.   I think it was a Buddhist who said live your life as if today was the last day.   Because who knows?  It just might be.  Write now, Helen.

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